No, I am not losing it...and many of you who know me must have read that title and thought something was REALLY wrong! What happened was I watched 20/20 last night and it was about people "Losing It" in road-rage situations, workplace violence, and volatile relationships. It was disturbing. It was disturbing that people are so short-fused and lash out at others for the silliest or reasons. People don't seem to give other people any slack at all...everything has to be perfect...everyone has to act perfect...everyone has to drive perfect...everyone has to look perfect, etc. If other people don't line up with what YOU think should happen, then God forbid! Come on people!
The other disturbing thing was a psychologist who was blaming society! Really?? What about personal responsibility? $h!t happens to everybody, but our reaction to it is OUR responsibility. We CHOOSE how we respond. If someone cuts you off it's not okay to get out of your car and pummel them with a crutch, and if you do, it is not THEIR fault, it's YOURS! Who it the bigger jerk? Your actions...your responsibility.
Another disturbing thing was an attorney representing a man who was married three times, and each time the woman was abused, threatened, hit, intimidated, etc. This man was arrested several times and his doctor license was revoked for using cocaine, but the ATTORNEY stated that his client's problem was picking the wrong woman! Really? Don't you think HE may have been the major problem? Really! Okay, maybe I AM losing it a bit!
Now, as the president of LIES, LLC, I have to turn this rant into something related to Interview & Interrogation. People have a tendency, now more than ever, to blame anything but themselves for their actions. They blame other people, they blame society, they blame their boss, they blame their parents, and on, and on. Use this in your interview and interrogation process by displacing blame from the person to something else, just like they do anyway. If you conduct a good background of the person you are talking with, you may find out a lot of things that may be appropriate. You may also find out a lot during the initial rapport building stage. Latch on to this tendency of people to to displace blame which may help them save face a little bit and admit to their actions, and it will demonstrate that you understand WHY they did what they did...not because they are a bad person, but because times are tough. That approach will go a lot farther than telling them like it is!